‘Kay, so it’s 3:24 am. My alarm goes off at 5:45 am. Logic says I should be asleep. But I’m not. I’m sick – I’m coughing up a lung. I’m in pain – good thing the alarm goes off so I can go to the pain clinic.
But the main reason I avoid sleep lately? It’s so I avoid the nightmares. The crippling tiredness is the less painful thing to deal with. If I’m awake, at least I can distract myself from such painful thoughts.
If I’m asleep, there’s no solace. No comfort. No serenity.
And it sucks.
This was not very deep. I want to write more – oh, how I long to write. How I long to process my thoughts, get others thoughts on my thoughts (I’m not vain and think my thoughts are profound and amazing, but I like to get thoughts on my thoughts) and all that. But right now I’m on cruise control – just surfing through life the best I can. And it kinda sucks, it really does. Because there’s so much going on that needs to come out… but I don’t know how to PULL it out!