I miss you, Beth.
It isn’t fair. It isn’t fair that it’s your birthday and you’re not here. It’s not fair that I’m sitting in the hospital waiting for my ride home and you aren’t here to distract me.
Nothing prepared me for losing you. Nothing prepared me for the heart drop feeling when I was told. There really are no words for that moment that changed my world forever.
I’m changing, Beth. I’m growing. I’m writing a memoir. I’m starting to get published. I’m finding answers to my fragile health.
I want to share with you who I am becoming. I wish that I could have you call me a dork or a dweeb again. To tell me things are going to be okay.
But the person who told me things would be okay is why I am not okay. I am not okay. I am broken. I am sad. I am lonely.
And I’m completely lost without you.
And when the broken hearted people, living in the world agree. There will be an answer, let it be. For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see. There will be answer, let it be. Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah let it be, there will be an answer let it be. Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah, let it be, whisper words of wisdom let it be. And when the night is cloudy there is still a light that shines on me, shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I’m trying, Beth. I’m trying to let it be. I’m trying to stay hopeful and rise out of my hour of darkness. My health is failing. My depression is worsening. I’m spinning wildly out of control.
I just need you to tell me to let it be.
PS: the ER sucks, I have a headache, and please tell me freaking ride to get their ass here. Kthanxbai love you.