she fools all of her friends into thinking she’s strong
but she still sleeps with the light on
and she acts like it’s all right on
as she smiles again
Trapped. Utterly and completed trapped.
Dark. Bleak. Hopeless.
Oh, I’m fine.
Oh, everything is swell.
Fooling everyone into thinking things are awesome
When the reality is everything is in pieces around me.
I can’t cope.
OCD thoughts consume.
Anxiety takes its deepest roots and settle in.
Depression covers me and I can’t get away.
I watch my physical health fall. Falling.
As I have med interactions. As I play medication roulette.
As I watch my health continue to falter and baffle doctors.
I try. I try and I try and I try.
But I can’t any longer.
She knows she’s so much more than worthless,
She needs to find a purpose
She wonders what she did to deserve this