Arise and seize the day, or, 100 reasons part 4.

So I started this series back before the last semester ended, and didn’t really come back to it. Oops. Considering this is how I feel about the current semester:

I thought it might be a good idea to come back to it. 😀

If you’re curious about the other entries, here is Part 1, 2, and 3

31. Fairly Oddparents. They are fun, zany, and an awesome show to watch when I just need to take my mind off stuff. Or I want something to watch when I don’t feel good, having a pain flare, etc.


The past hurts, but it doesn’t mean that I always have to hurt. It doesn’t mean I have to run from it. It doesn’t mean I have to dwell in it, or that it’s a reason to die.

33. “Sometimes things have to change, and maybe sometimes it’s for the better.” – Lilo and Stitch.
I don’t like change. I fear it. It makes me run for the hills screaming. But change isn’t bad, and in fact, it can be the complete turn around that I need. As much as I hate it, it’s a reason to be.



I want a kitteh cat and dead people can’t have kittens. Well, PEOPLE can’t have kittens, CATS have kittens. But I can sing Soft Kitty to the kitty! ^_^

36. Rock band/guitar hero. Is fun. ^_^

37. Can’t be a youth minister/camp director if I’m a dead. Zombie youth director ain’t my callin’, mates.


39. Berries. Berries are yummy. And tasty. And stuff.

40. I want to learn to play violin again. 🙂

Series: Chapel Speakers

Disclaimer: I do not claim this statement to be universal. I don’t think it’s true of every single speaker, but I do feel that it’s something that needs to be said. I do not say these things with ill intent, but more thoughts I ponder about.

I sometimes feel that chapel is one big guilt trip. “Forgive those who have hurt you.” “Go into the ministry.” “Get your life right with God.” “Do this, do that.” And at times it’s frustrating because even though I’m sure that’s not what they mean to send across, it’s certainly how it comes across.

And tying in with the cliche guilt trip, I often feel that chapel dances around real issues. It seems that they rotate similar messages: Be a better Christian, get closer to God. Donate your money, donate your time. Forgive, forget, move on. Trust God. Believe in God. Worship God. Work at summer camp. Go into the ministry. Don’t go into the ministry. Tithe. It just seems that they roll out the same issues we’ve heard over and over again in chapel.

I sometimes wish for a real, raw chapel. Not candy-coated sugar-frosted Christianity, but about real issues that students here struggle with. Eating disorders. Abuse. Self injury. Homosexuality. Greed. Gossip/slander/libel. Bullying. Yet it seems we like to turn a blind eye and don’t realize that these things happen on our own campus. We find out a student struggles with suicidal thoughts, and our mind goes to “Oh, they must not be right with God.” “Oh, this and that and this and that.”

I feel that our chapel speakers just run the typical guilt trip, toying with our emotions. Not all of them, a few are exempt from this statement. But nevertheless, it’s very annoying and frustrating just to see the same cliched guilt trips run over and over.

Series: Praise Chapel

I often feel like a failure as a Northwestern student, because I don’t like chapel. I hate it. I hate praise chapel. My first “I hate Chapel” rant will focus on praise chapel. Stay tuned for other rants about how I hate many chapel messages, many chapel speakers, edit on 1/18/11 and whatnot. And I don’t truly “hate chapel”, but I feel that there are many issues within it.

I hate how many of the songs are “me” centered and not “God” centered. Look, folks, if you’re going to sing a song that worships your alleged divine creator, then sing about what He’s done for YOU. Sing about what He means for YOU. Not what He’s going to DO for You, not how He makes You feel. Your lyrics should worship the Creator, the one You claim to adore.

Second, to me it feels like chapel is a big show. Who can raise their hand the highest. Who can sing the loudest. Who “looks” the most into worshiping. Worshiping is not meant to be a show, and frankly, that’s what praise chapel looks like at Northwestern. A show, and nothing more. I often feel like the lyrics from the Jon Foreman song:

Your eyes are closed when you’re praying
You sing right along with the band
You shine up your shoes for services
There’s blood on your hands
You turned your back on the homeless
And the ones that don’t fit in your plan
Quit playing religion games
There’s blood on your hands

Now, I’m not claiming to know the heart of Northwestern. I’m only a college student and I only see my own heart, and I know there are genuine people there. But we would all be naïve to believe that every one of those students is legit, that every one is genuine. Some are only trying to keep up appearances. Some are putting on a show because the momentary “religous high” numbs the pain in their life, just for a little while. Instead of searching for a true fix, they just go from “God high” to “God high”, with little interest to God in between worship jams.

And for someone who has a sensory processing disorder, praise chapel is complete hell. It’s complete sensory overload for something like that. If you can’t handle loud noise, crowds, or darkness, it’s not the place for you. It’s a place that’s supposed to be safe, but can quickly cause panic.

I’m not bashing cooperate worship. I realize it’s a Biblical concept. However, the way Northwestern goes about it I don’t believe is right, and I believe that changes need to be made. I’m not one to say what the changes need to be, and even if I did no one would listen to be. Apparently I’m a flaming liberal to most Northwestern students, and my opinion holds little water because it’s not the majority opinion. I don’t even claim to be right, and I don’t even know that the others are fully wrong, per se. And I realize that by the end of those post, most anyone reading this likely things I’m an insane heathen or that I’m not right with God.

But I don’t feel that praise chapel is the best thing for Northwestern. It always, from my first time in it, gave me an uneasy feeling. And I can’t put my finger on it, other than some of the thoughts explored here.