My disability held me back

Something I’ve run into multiple times throughout my life is people telling me not to let my disability hold me back. If you take a look at a Facebook group for any disability, you’ll find it run rampant with people who talk about how their disability doesn’t hold them back. You will see people saying how their disorder doesn’t define them. You will see people talking about how despite a disability, you can achieve anything.

We see all the people talk about how their disabilities didn’t hold them back. We see disabled people who got their degree held up on a pedestal, as something we should all achieve to be. We see disabled people achieve great things in sports. We see headlines about disabled people who defy the odds. We see the “pretty disabled” people glorified in media. But what about those of us who just exist? And why are we turning these disabled people into a feel-good story? (That’s another post for another time).

I don’t want us glorified in media. I don’t want us to turn into inspiration porn. But what I do want? I want it to become acceptable for our disabilities to hold us back. Some disabled people have no choice but to work. Some disabled people have no choice but to not to. Some disabled people get degrees and jobs. Some disabled people don’t.

I am so tired of having to explain why I am a college drop out. I am so tired of having to explain why my disability DOES define some aspects of who I am. There’s nothing bad about me being disabled. There’s nothing bad against pushing back those who say that my disability shouldn’t hold me back when the truth is, it has. By trying to ignore that and trying to push through, I further damaged my health.

I long for a day when we are taught that it’s okay to be disabled. We don’t need to use pretty language to make it sound better. We don’t need to push ourselves through pain and illness to be accepted in society. Disability is natural. Disabled people need to learn that we don’t have to be someone else’s inspiration, but that we can live our lives in the way that’s best for our own health.

The only disability is a disability. Full stop.

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