I’m a lifelong fidgeter. I don’t sit still well. I bounce in my seat at times. I rock. I fiddle with a Tangle Jr or my fidget bracelet or my Hufflepuff necklace. I flap my hands. Sitting still is stressful. Playing with the nearest gadget or toy helps ground and stabilize me.
For me, stimming (which is what we call fidgeting to help calm and ground ourselves or to make us happy) is a way of life. It’s often like the first sunshine after a bitterly cold winter – warmth and comfort and happiness. It’s like the first sip of a perfectly brewed mug of my favorite tea. It’s the feeling of my soft, fluffy cat curled up in my life. It’s like a big bear hug from my favorite person in the universe.
It isn’t meant to annoy you. I can’t just stop because you don’t like it. It’s as natural as breathing, as natural as the in and out, in and out rhythm of air. It doesn’t hurt you, does it? Maybe when you need to calm down, you take deep breathes. You hum or whistle. Maybe you tap your foot. Maybe you visualize things. This is my method. This is my way.
Stimming is my very way of life. It’s the warmth of a fireplace. It’s the comfort of a book I’ve read a thousand times. It’s what makes me feel at peace in a world I often don’t understand. Respect the stim.