When I say I am autistic… I am not trying to get your pity. I’m not trying for a get out of jail free card. I’m not trying to get you to feel sorry for you. I am not trying to guilt you or get anything out of it. I’m not trying to try and con you. You see, when I say I am autistic, I am trying to help you understand.
By sharing with you that I’m autistic, I’m being open and vulnerable. I’ve had the R word thrown in my face. I’ve been bullied. And I’m trying to help you understand the way that my brain views things. I’m trying to show you the Instagram filter that feeds through my brain, the beautiful filter that I see the word through.
When I tell you I’m autistic, I’m allowing you a peak into my world. A world of stimming and scripting. A world where I obsess over things – Avengers and RENT, Persona and Tales Of, Danganronpa and Zelda, Final Fantasy and Pokemon… you get the picture. I am not ashamed, nor should I be, of being autistic. There is nothing wrong with it. I don’t need a cure and it wasn’t caused by a vaccine. By sharing this with you, I’m openly saying fuck the stigma.
I’m shattering the stereotype of autism. I’m helping show that autism comes in all types, in all people. There is no mild or severe autism, autism is not salsa. I’m showing that functioning labels are crap – that the only useful labels are the ones I choose for myself. Hufflepuff. Team Instinct. Divergent. Loyal. Advocate. Activist. Pokenerd. You get the picture. I’m not doubling down by saying that some labels are good and some are bad – I don’t want society to slam labels on me. I want to choose my own. There is nothing wrong with that. I don’t like being called an autie, an aspie, or having a functioning label slapped on me. And that’s okay. But by saying I’m autistic, I am allowing the stereotypes to be shattered of what “living with autism” (what a bizarre phrase. It isn’t like autism is a roommate! I don’t say I live with my gender. That’s silly) is supposed to look like.
By sharing with people personally in my day-to-day life, and with the world on my blog, I’m allowing people a peak into my life. And that’s a gift, it’s a wonderful thing. It means I’m trusting you with something that’s important to me. Don’t see it as something it’s not.
I am Nora.
And I am autistic.