I don’t need your awareness

 

 

Image: rainbow-y background with the text "Accept me. Don't be aware of me."

Image: rainbow-y background with the text “Accept me. Don’t be aware of me.”

 

I don’t need your awareness. You’d be hard-pressed to find someone who isn’t aware of autism. I don’t need your sugar-coated language. I don’t need you to tell me how autism has touched you. I don’t need you to light it up blue – rather, I need you to not.

I don’t need your awareness. I don’t need you to tell me how hard it is to be autistic. I don’t need you to tell me what it’s like to raise a child who is autistic. I don’t need you to tell me how justified a parent was to murder their child.

I don’t need your awareness. I don’t need you to hold up puzzle pieces. I don’t need you to shout out “but isn’t all awareness good?” But when it’s a company that actually advocates for my death, no, no it isn’t. When it is justifying the murder of my autistic friendly, no, no it isn’t.

What I need is your acceptance. To not turn your head or whisper when I stim in public. To accept that I cannot make eye contact with you. To accept that I script and that it’s the way I’m programmed.

What I need is your acceptance. To know that sometimes I flap my hands. Sometimes I carry a stuffed animal with me, despite being 28. That I script and repeat things and flap and flail and stim.

What I need is your acceptance. To not push me to do things I cannot. To know that it isn’t laziness, it isn’t that I don’t want to do the thing, it’s that I cannot do the thing.

I don’t need your awareness. I need your acceptance. There’s a difference.

Accept us as we are.

Don’t force us to change.

Don’t shove us into your NT boxes.

Love us.

Accept us.

And stop being aware of us.

4 thoughts on “I don’t need your awareness

  1. If we happen to run into each other (hypothetically speaking) I’ll be aware of you and I will accept you readily.

    In the same manner that I treat all strangers, I won’t start any small talk because it would give me heart palpitations. But if we met and had a moment’s eye contact, I would be simply glad to nod and smile briefly and continue on my way as if you were any passing stranger.

  2. I would say “don’t stop at awareness, if it isn’t going to lead to acceptance & inclusion I don’t want it!”

  3. Pingback: Your awareness wants me dead | A Heart Made Fullmetal

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