I have Allodynia. It sucks. And by sucks, I mean it really and truly, totally, 100% sucks. You know the feeling when you have a still healing sunburn? You know that feeling when the slightest touch makes you recoil in pain? Yah, that. You know the relief you get once the burn has faded? Yeah, I don’t get that.
I haven’t had it my whole life though I’ve always been hypersensitive to touch. I’ve never liked being touched, never liked hugs. As long as everyone touches my clothing and not my skin, it’s fine. But living with it day in and day out is exhausting.
Some people only experience it when they have a migraine. Others, like me, have it 24/7. It restricts my clothing choices – some of them are literally painful to wear if they aren’t made of the right fabric. It means I have to use a blanket year round to sleep under – I absolutely require the soft touch against my skin because the feel of the room air on my skin is painful.
Imagine enjoying the feeling of a breeze, but at the same time it’s painful because ANY type of touch hurts.
Imagine craving physical touch and affection, but not being able to enjoy it, because it hurts. Imagine not being able to enjoy cuddles… because they hurt.
The worst part is for me, there is no treatment. Sure, they can take the edge off.
But I’m still going to live in pain.
Simply by being touched.