it’s hard to say it, time to say it

Every memory of walkin’ out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was lookin’ for
It’s hard to say it, time to say it
Good bye, good bye, good bye

 

Six months next week.
Six long, lonely months.
My heart hurts. It’s broken. It’s shattered.
I will never be the same.
Six months later…

I read our text messages and Facebook convos, with her teasing me about coming to visit her.
I read our inside jokes.
I read about the love we shared.
And I’m reminded of how beautiful our friendship was.

Others would tell us – both while she was alive and after she was gone, how evident our friendship was. With the way we interacted and stuff.

But she’s gone.

And I hurt.
Oh, how I hurt.

I have one less Christmas card to mail out. One empty card sitting on my desk.

I have one less person to share my medical angst with.

I have one less person to invite to my not-very-likely-to-happen wedding.

The grief hits at the strangest times. Such as 1:48 am on a Thursday morning.

But this is the time she’d be on. This is the time we’d talk.

And the chat is hauntingly empty.

 

We used to listen to the radio
And sing along with every song we know
We said someday we’d find out how it feels
To sing to more than just a steering wheel

 

(Admin note: I’ll add an image description later. Sorry it’s not up yet. I’m tired and grieving and not up to posting it yet).

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