I feel like many people think the chronic illness life is “yay! you can sleep all you want! i would LOVE to sleep that much!”
You know what? So would I.
Instead, I wake up several times a night in pain.
Instead, I wake up several times a night gasping for breath.
You think it “must be nice” to take a nap in the middle of the day?
I sometimes cannot function without that nap. That’s right, cannot function. Or I literally just conk out. I have no choice. I don’t realize I’m doing it.
Imagine sleeping all you want… but never being rested.
Imagine having all the time in the world to sleep, but always being exhausted.
Imagine never, in your life, feeling rested. Imagine people asking how much sleep you’ve had, and being shocked at how little or how much. Because there is no middle ground. It’s extremes, no matter what.
Instead, it’s just something that happens because my body crashes.
Not because I have a choice. Not because it’s “great” or “wonderful”.
And that’s on nights I can sleep, not on the days where I go over 48 hours with no sleep, because I physically cannot.
Chronic illness does not equal “ALL THE SLEEP!”
I wish it did. That’d make things easier.