god help the outcasts

Yes, I know I’m just an outcast
I shouldn’t speak to You
Still I seek Your face and wonder
Weren’t you once an outcast too?

I’m struggling. I feel like an outcast – such an outcast. I don’t fit the cookie cutter mold I feel it cut out for Christians. I’m “rough around the edges”, sarcastic, and cynical. I don’t know what exactly I believe about God, and I don’t even know why I’m going into ministry. Maybe it’s because I want to right the wrongs. Maybe it’s because I want to prove to people you don’t have to be perfect to be a Christian.

But Lord, I feel like an outcast. A crippled, limping, orphaned outcast. And the thing is?

I ask for nothing, I can get by
But I know so many less lucky than I

I have no reason to whine. No reason to complain.
So many more have it worse. I just want to help people.
To make a difference.
To help people not harbor bitterness like I have, because it’s an awful way to live.

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