I often feel like a failure as a Northwestern student, because I don’t like chapel. I hate it. I hate praise chapel. My first “I hate Chapel” rant will focus on praise chapel. Stay tuned for other rants about how I hate many chapel messages, many chapel speakers, edit on 1/18/11 and whatnot. And I don’t truly “hate chapel”, but I feel that there are many issues within it.
I hate how many of the songs are “me” centered and not “God” centered. Look, folks, if you’re going to sing a song that worships your alleged divine creator, then sing about what He’s done for YOU. Sing about what He means for YOU. Not what He’s going to DO for You, not how He makes You feel. Your lyrics should worship the Creator, the one You claim to adore.
Second, to me it feels like chapel is a big show. Who can raise their hand the highest. Who can sing the loudest. Who “looks” the most into worshiping. Worshiping is not meant to be a show, and frankly, that’s what praise chapel looks like at Northwestern. A show, and nothing more. I often feel like the lyrics from the Jon Foreman song:
Your eyes are closed when you’re praying
You sing right along with the band
You shine up your shoes for services
There’s blood on your hands
You turned your back on the homeless
And the ones that don’t fit in your plan
Quit playing religion games
There’s blood on your hands
Now, I’m not claiming to know the heart of Northwestern. I’m only a college student and I only see my own heart, and I know there are genuine people there. But we would all be naïve to believe that every one of those students is legit, that every one is genuine. Some are only trying to keep up appearances. Some are putting on a show because the momentary “religous high” numbs the pain in their life, just for a little while. Instead of searching for a true fix, they just go from “God high” to “God high”, with little interest to God in between worship jams.
And for someone who has a sensory processing disorder, praise chapel is complete hell. It’s complete sensory overload for something like that. If you can’t handle loud noise, crowds, or darkness, it’s not the place for you. It’s a place that’s supposed to be safe, but can quickly cause panic.
I’m not bashing cooperate worship. I realize it’s a Biblical concept. However, the way Northwestern goes about it I don’t believe is right, and I believe that changes need to be made. I’m not one to say what the changes need to be, and even if I did no one would listen to be. Apparently I’m a flaming liberal to most Northwestern students, and my opinion holds little water because it’s not the majority opinion. I don’t even claim to be right, and I don’t even know that the others are fully wrong, per se. And I realize that by the end of those post, most anyone reading this likely things I’m an insane heathen or that I’m not right with God.
But I don’t feel that praise chapel is the best thing for Northwestern. It always, from my first time in it, gave me an uneasy feeling. And I can’t put my finger on it, other than some of the thoughts explored here.